Kiss
Puke
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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