i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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