Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize