There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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