I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
