I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
