I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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