I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
