The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
