DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
