Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Come share oat with me in your robe
You've changed since you got that strap on
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
