So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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