I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
