he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
