its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
