Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

(312): View more from Illinois

you sound like my dream girl

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(925): View more from California

Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless

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(480): View more from Arizona

he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug

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(601): View more from Mississippi

she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket

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(619): View more from California

there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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(708): View more from Illinois

Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

(773): View more from Illinois

Just arrived at our party

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(313): View more from Michigan

I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

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(845): View more from New York

There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional

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(805): View more from California

I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Yes absolutlely

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