she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
