i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
