The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
