Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
