We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
