do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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