If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
