Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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