Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
