I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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