Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
