We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
