At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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