at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
