i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
