bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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