I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
