i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
