You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Verdict: uncircumcised.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
