my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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