y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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