i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
