So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
