I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
