So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
