And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
