I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
