Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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