We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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