so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
