I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
