I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
