So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
