im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
