I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
