i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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