I wanna passion pit in your ass
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
you are never too drunk for berry picking
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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