eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
