porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
