two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
